say what?

sooo...i'm being a good student. 0.o
i have an english paper i'm working on and i made an appointment with this center on campus called the write place, and they tutor you with paper writing and organization and structure. and since i'm failing epicly at grasping how to write this rhetorical analysis paper, i decided to make an appointment with them. which i'll be going to pretty much after i'm done typing this entry.


in other news, etrayu and derek are probably going to be visiting this weekend we're going geocache hunting again, etrayu thinks he's figured out where we went wrong last time and is getting some more info on the location of our target. that'll be awesome specially since he and derek are probably gonna be up in st cloud the whole weekend, hello crazy awesomeness here we come.

in other other news, i'm sitting in a school caffeteria writing this and my left eye is twitching incessently. its annoying me. ah well.

time to go be a responsible student.

for those of you that get it, Dai Stiho

for those that don't, see you later

The current below

Havn't been here in awhile, last i posted i was in high school in my web design class with mr fuhr. now i'm in college at st cloud state university. many long stories between then and now different outlooks different thoughts. so i'll cut straight to the reason for this post.

my dreams have been troubled as of late, i rarely remember what happens but i awake with a deep feeling of unease. i'm not sure of the source of this and thus have no idea what to do about it. i feel very on edge alot recently i feel at a state of hypersensitivity, like i'm waiting for some known disaster to happen and havn't told myself about it.

the only thing i remember every now and then of these dreams is the phrase why are you waiting?

i don't know what it is i'm waiting or shouldn't be waiting for, or if these dreams are brought on by something in the waking world instead of something else. this is very strange.

i may update again at some point but for now that's about it.

for those of you that get it, Dai Stiho
for those of you that don't, goodbye for now.

-Bo Jacisin

a search for forgiveness

what does one do when all the choices made have left you in a position where everything you do is the wrong thing. and there seems to be no way out? how do you recconcile an error made when you know what happened but not when or why.

here's a sort of simplified analogy of how i feel at the moment. i feel like the titanic under an inept captain. i don't know what hit me or where the breach in the hull is. all i know is i'm taking on water and sinking.

i know what the problem is, i don't know how to solve it. i feel different, half broken.

"mirror mirror on the wall
who's the most broken of them all?
i wish you'd show me something to see
something not bearing the likeness of me"(-excerpt from my poem a mirror and a looking glass)

i guess this is what happens when you try to do too much purely for yourself. i think i'll take this as a lesson to be more mindful of my motives behind my actions. i guess we'll see if i can repair the damage that's been done. i hope so.

i guess for now, i'll just have to see what happens. and try to do the best i can and hope for some degree of forgiveness

-Bo
(dai stiho)

Worlds beyond our own, gateways, portals and the like.

Have you ever been for a walk along a path you've walked countless times, and seen a branching of the path that you don't remember ever seeing before? and you bypass it, and come back later, and it's gone and you're left thinking that you probably imagined it. which begs the question. if you had walked down that path when you first saw it, what would have happened? it's my theory that those paths or forks in the road that don't exist are a naturally occuring worldgate or portal. where these may lead i have no idea but someday i'll find out. next question assuming you take my theory as fact, is how are they formed? my theory is this, some people are just naturally attuned to earth's and nature's energy fields. natural pools of power just tend to gravitate towards them. my theory is these gateways are formed during a period of intense energy concentration, maybe while the person is deeply lost in thought and not really focusing on the physical realm. which may in itself be a key. we get so focused on our lives that we forget to look beyond to what likes over, under and amoung us in realms more central and powerful than our own. another way these portals can form is by intent. get a large group of people in an area that has a good amount of natural energy and with eneough effort and focus a group of people could feasibly open a gateway to somewhere else.

i was watching this movie, called versus, and in this movie there are 666 portals to the otherside. now my theory is there are far less major gateways. and by major i mean ones powerful eneough to let humans or animals physically through them. but i believe there are many more minor and moderate portals in existance. portals that allow energy and metaphysical beings through them in the form of energy. minor gateways can be stumbled through by people, they won't be transported anywhere but their environment could shift sublty find that time is either moving faster or slower, than normal. time is another facinating concept but that's for another time. this is pretty much my thoughts on gateways, portals and the like, in the short version. cause at the moment i don't have time to write it all completley out.

for those those of you that understand this dai stiho
for those that don't farewell for now.
-Caedus

Ryan vs dorkman 2 (epic lightsaber vid)

best star wars fanfilm ever.