a search for forgiveness

what does one do when all the choices made have left you in a position where everything you do is the wrong thing. and there seems to be no way out? how do you recconcile an error made when you know what happened but not when or why.

here's a sort of simplified analogy of how i feel at the moment. i feel like the titanic under an inept captain. i don't know what hit me or where the breach in the hull is. all i know is i'm taking on water and sinking.

i know what the problem is, i don't know how to solve it. i feel different, half broken.

"mirror mirror on the wall
who's the most broken of them all?
i wish you'd show me something to see
something not bearing the likeness of me"(-excerpt from my poem a mirror and a looking glass)

i guess this is what happens when you try to do too much purely for yourself. i think i'll take this as a lesson to be more mindful of my motives behind my actions. i guess we'll see if i can repair the damage that's been done. i hope so.

i guess for now, i'll just have to see what happens. and try to do the best i can and hope for some degree of forgiveness

-Bo
(dai stiho)

Worlds beyond our own, gateways, portals and the like.

Have you ever been for a walk along a path you've walked countless times, and seen a branching of the path that you don't remember ever seeing before? and you bypass it, and come back later, and it's gone and you're left thinking that you probably imagined it. which begs the question. if you had walked down that path when you first saw it, what would have happened? it's my theory that those paths or forks in the road that don't exist are a naturally occuring worldgate or portal. where these may lead i have no idea but someday i'll find out. next question assuming you take my theory as fact, is how are they formed? my theory is this, some people are just naturally attuned to earth's and nature's energy fields. natural pools of power just tend to gravitate towards them. my theory is these gateways are formed during a period of intense energy concentration, maybe while the person is deeply lost in thought and not really focusing on the physical realm. which may in itself be a key. we get so focused on our lives that we forget to look beyond to what likes over, under and amoung us in realms more central and powerful than our own. another way these portals can form is by intent. get a large group of people in an area that has a good amount of natural energy and with eneough effort and focus a group of people could feasibly open a gateway to somewhere else.

i was watching this movie, called versus, and in this movie there are 666 portals to the otherside. now my theory is there are far less major gateways. and by major i mean ones powerful eneough to let humans or animals physically through them. but i believe there are many more minor and moderate portals in existance. portals that allow energy and metaphysical beings through them in the form of energy. minor gateways can be stumbled through by people, they won't be transported anywhere but their environment could shift sublty find that time is either moving faster or slower, than normal. time is another facinating concept but that's for another time. this is pretty much my thoughts on gateways, portals and the like, in the short version. cause at the moment i don't have time to write it all completley out.

for those those of you that understand this dai stiho
for those that don't farewell for now.
-Caedus

Ryan vs dorkman 2 (epic lightsaber vid)

best star wars fanfilm ever.

World View

Picasa Photo Slideshow

Animoto Animation

Opening Post

Alright, so even though this is supposed to be for my media arts class I may as well use it as an actual blog. So, since I called this blog thoughts from the other side I may as well start off with some deep thinking. So I last night as I was waiting to fall asleep I got to thinking. What precisely are we as human beings doing on this planet? I mean, judging from history and planetwide habitat and natural resouce destruction, the wars we’ve waged and other countless, seemingly harmful actions towards our planet and eachother, why are we here? No, I’m not one of those people that is content to sit on a mountaintop and wait for the answer to life to float to me on the breeze, but then nor am I one of the people that believes that we have no purpose either. The meaning of life isn’t some single all encompassing idea or phrase or lesson, it’s individualized and different for each and every one of us. If you were to ask me what I thought the meaning of life is, I’d probably reply, I can tell you what the meaning of my life means if you can tell me the meaning of yours. But to put it simply, I think the meaning of life is this. “To Live” the only constant about life is that it is subject to change without notice. That and the laws of physics, but that’s beside the point.

I suppose that does it for a first post. So have a good day I hope you enjoyed reading and thinking about this.

Dai Stiho (means goodbye for now)